Lucidity.

Years ago, long before I knew there was a term for it — I thought it was a weird byproduct of my lifelong struggle with insomnia, with a sprinkle of mental illness — I started having intense lucid dreams. It wasn’t until I was telling a dear friend about my “weird dream thing” a year or so ago that I learned it’s actually a relatively well-researched phenomenon. (For the uninitiated, “lucid dreaming” is essentially an REM-dream state where you’re fully aware of the fact that you’re dreaming and even can, as I’m now learning, control the narrative a bit.) After years of hating it, it became the thing that helped me process the grief over losing my grandfather, something my awake-mind was struggling to do. That experience opened my eyes to the possibility, so I’ve found myself reading/watching everything I can in order to learn more. (There are countless YT videos of people attempting to make it happen, usually by setting up elaborate practices akin to meditation/journaling, all in order to spur the brain into a lucid dream.) For me, it’s required shifting my approach, less make-this-shit-stop and more maybe-harness-its-potential. It’s been weird and often unsuccessful and then lately, actually a bit cool.

So, what does that have to do with our collies, Honey & Suki, who’ve been gone for more than seven years? Well, part of the “practice” of lucid dreaming involves setting “intentions” before you sleep. One woman I’ve read about sets intentions to “travel” in her dreams by literally reading travel websites before bed of various places she’s interested in, in the hope that she might find herself gallivanting around Italy in her dreams. Italy’s all well & good, but the “intention” I focused on was seeing our collie girls again.

After a week or two of disappointing collie-less dreaming, last night it finally happened. I played with Honey and Suki in the park. I knew it was a dream; I even told the dogs as much. Although it was very brief, it was also… magic.

So, does anyone else lucid dream? Have you always viewed it as a positive or, like me, did you assume it was yet another datapoint in the “batshit crazy” column?

Tell me everything.