Saying goodbye.

[From October 27-28, 2020: The bulk of 2020 was incredibly difficult for the entire world, as we all found ourselves dealing with a once-in-a-century virus. The pandemic undoubtedly caused a lot of extra stress for Chelli and me, as we tried to fashion an existence that would ultimately protect her from a virus that a growing segment of the population wasn’t yet ready to admit was even a real threat. And yet, 2020 is also the year I lost my grandfather, a loss I’d been dreading ever since I first understood the very concept.]

10/27/2020, 11:30PM:

To be able to sit by my grandfather’s bedside today for several hours, just holding that hand of his with those crooked fingers that always perplexed me as a kid, to be able to say all of the things I wanted to be sure he knew, to remind him of how extraordinarily he is loved and how responsible he is for so much of what makes me the man I am today, to simply sit in that space in what we know now are the waning hours of his life, it was unbelievably sad, of course, and yet it also felt like one of the great honors of my life.

My grandfather is in hospice care now. In the coming moments, hours, or maybe even days, we will, as a family, do our best to navigate this irreplaceable man’s transition into whatever comes next.

While he’s been in the ICU this last week, so many of you have extended your love and warm wishes. It’s meant so much to us all. I’d just ask you to continue them for a bit more, as we covet any and all prayers for peace and especially for comfort… for him, mostly, but for the rest of us, too.

Ninety-seven years.

10/28/2020, 7:45AM:

About six hours after I wrote the above, at a little before 6 AM this morning — Wednesday, October 28th — my grandfather slipped away peacefully, with my father, his oldest surviving son, by his side. It was the exact sort of passing we hoped for and he deserved… quiet and peaceful, with no struggle, no panic, and a heart open wide. In the days ahead, there will be all of the emotions one feels when a giant hero-sized hole has opened up in your life, but right now, in this moment, I feel exceedingly fortunate to have had fifty years on this earth in his spectacular orbit and more grateful than I can communicate to have had that time with him yesterday.

A heart, both broken & full.

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